MAY DAY

What's cooler than paying $40 + for a wedding website? Making your own with google pages and buying a fun URL from godaddy.com (I love you, Danica Patrick!). I don't want to post the URL here, but if you know me in "real life" I'll e-mail it to you. It's a work in progress but I LOVE IT.

We are finally choosing our church this weekend, which is great because I am a basket case about it. I broke one of the first rules of Catholic wedding planning: BOOK THE CHURCH FIRST, and now I am freaking out. I feel like I say "there are four May saturdays a year" 80 times a day to myself. Philadelphia is a very Italian city, so there are a lot of great churches (and man, great Italian resturants/bakeries in South philly OMG), but there are also a lot of CATHOLICS WHO WANT THE CHURCHES. They are going to give priority to the members of their own Parish, and this all makes me nervous. So I can't wait to have this done. I pretty much know who I want for flowers, photos, music and everything else (year of research, people), but I want to wait to book them until I get the Church.

Hopefully, there will be nice bride before or after me, I would love to split the cost of flowers with her. Friggin' flowers. SO UN-INTERESTED IN FLOWERS.

Getting married in May was my choice, there is a reason why it's so popular, it's going to be beautiful. But it is definitely making things more competitive.

Arpita and Kate go to the sample sale.

I posted this story in my "real" blog - my live journal, but I wanted it here for posterity. Monkey and Rose should feel free to skip. I tried on some dresses with my mom when I was first engaged - about a year ago. It was just goofy fun, I wasn't looking to buy AT ALL. Today was different - I had fantasies of getting my dress for cheap and having it all tailored up and looking nice. I knew what i wanted this time and when I tried on the dresses... I really liked them. I am getting closer. None of them were "the one", but some were close.

Arpita came into our hometown at 12:30am last night, stayed up with me until 2am talking about MY WEDDING - a subject that is inexhaustible for me right now and I know is very boring - and then woke up 3.5 hours later at 5:30, took a cold, low-pressure shower in my parents' infuriating bathroom, and set out with me to the sample sale. Determined to get there early and be at the head of the line. We psyched ourselves up to fight. To pry the lace dresses out of these other dames hands, to snatch, to tear, to do whatever it took.

We pulled up to Priscilla of Boston - Shorthills - at 6:45am... and we were the only people there. Whoops. We headed out to "Bagels-4-U", had egg sanwhiches, returned after 7, and parked in an empty parking lot. We sat on the steps and laughed at my insanity, until brides saw us and started coming out of cars. We still only numbered about 7 when the store opened, and there was no wailing or gnashing of teeth. We were each permitted three dresses, and we were then led into little rooms to try the gowns on. I found one that was perfect - but it was $ 950, the high end for the sample sale (marked down from $4,200) and it had quite a few tearings in the lace. I wasn't going for it. I found another (pictured) where the lace was in PERFECT condition, but the seamstress in attendance said the dress could not be made strapless, and it was already not a mermaid cut. It was only $300! I almost did it. But then I reminded myself that it wasn't what I wanted, and that I was just getting "discount-fever". My wedding is over a year away, there will be many other sample sales.

I highly recommend a sample sale. You get to try on dress after dress without a sales staff trying to pressure you into anything - which is really invaluable. I didn't come away with a dress, but I came away feeling VERY good about the kind of dress I want, even the kind of lace.

The number one thing I came away with, though, is so much love and admiration for Arpita, who was genuinely excited for the whole experience and for me. When I think about it I get a little emotional (I'm tired, shut up), but she really is the greatest and I love her so much.

If you think your films are scary, you should see my wedding budget.

OK, this is hilarious, but I found these two dudes from my film club in college on the knot (I was the president, of course). The guys do wedding/corporate video now, but I remember them as kids who were obsessed with horror movies. I HAVE to have them do my wedding, and I can get a good 2-camera package for under $1,500 from them, so I am excited. I e-mailed them today: Emerald Productions. I hope we can somehow work fake blood into the video... we ARE having sharks at the wedding...

About.com had an article today on the "Top 5 Biggest Wedding Money Wasters". Here is how Matt and I rate according to the article on the top 5, which are:
1.)Meaningless and Expensive Wedding Favors - we want to donate to a charity instead. Our do-gooder friends and family will be into that.
2.)Endless Bride and Groom Swag - I DO want that "Sexy Little Bride" hoodie from Victoria's Secret. I'll admit it. I'M FROM NEW JERSEY. But I refuse to buy it for myself, so it's not coming from the wedding fund, at least. I also can't find anything that says "Soon to be Ms. ____" on it, they all say "Soon to be MRS. _____" and I refuse to be Mrs. anything. CALL ME MS.
3.)Huge Wedding Cakes - I am really so not into the cake, I know ours will be simple and tasty. Not some huge $500 structure that took a week to make and is now stale.
4.)Too Many Mementos - I do want the video, I know I'll watch it (my family were always big video/photo people)but I not intend to buy any personalized pens or cake cutters or stuff like that.
5.)Too Many Bridesmaids and Groomsmen - Well, I have three sisters, what do you want? 6 Bridesmaids is a lot, but I feel very good about my decision in this regard. Honestly, I wanted more, but Matt insisted on just having his three brothers, so more than twice the amount of maids to groomsmen seemed really excessive.

How do you rate with these top 5?

So glad we maid it.

See a photographer this Sunday! Spoke to a priest and I am rolling! Talking to a hair dresser about a $30 hair trail!

I am going to a sample sale this Friday morning, so I am thinking about my own dress, I swear, but I spent some time today thinking about Bridesmaids too. I offered black dresses up to my maids, but they all said they were cool with a light blue. I like an aqua blue, but I realize that not everyone does, so I need to curb my impulses to pick some crazy aqua nightmare.

I can't really explain fully how outrageous I think the bridesmaid dress thing is. They will have to pay 200+ for a gown they will never wear, plus they will have to pay around $100 for alterations. I think it's a racket, I think it's unnecessary. I want my BM's dresses to be off the rack, ready to wear, and under $200. This has less to do with inconveniencing my bridesmaids, and more to do with how disgusted I am getting with the wedding "industry". The groomsmen can rent a tux!

I have beautiful, young bridesmaids and I like the idea of them in knee or tea-length contemporary designs. What I planned on doing is picking a material and a color, and letting the dames pick their dress from a place like Ann Taylor or J.Crew.... so they can order it online and so that they can pick the style themselves - and maybe like it better. I don't really care if I see my sister in this dress again or not, but I care that she LOOKS like she could wear it again. With my huge bridal party, I also think a casual, pretty, young-style dress will look better.

Ann Taylor:
Color is "Cornflower Blue", Material is silk dupioni. Here are the two dress styles they can pick with that color and material right now:
One, Two.

There is also a flowergirl dress that is adorable and not so frilly.

J.Crew:
Color is "BRIGHT AQUAMARINE", Material is silk chiffon. Here are the three dress styles they can pick: One, Two, Three.

If they don't mind wearing the same dress and like any of these, they can do these:

I like this dress, it's all three of the wedding colors (aqua, gold, white) and it's different and inexpensive.

This might be too tight, and it's like "WHOA AQUA", but just to show you.

Another very "WHOA AQUA" dress. Most of my bridesmaids are fair skinned, this might be too bright.

I like this one and it's cheap. My bridesmaids are all thin, so that helps.

They are going to vote on the cheapest one, I know it, so I am glad I like that lace one. :)

This photo was taken by Michael Leslie.

Ok, so, Matt's marriage was annulled and I am the happiest person alive. I really, REALLY wanted a Catholic wedding and a Catholic marriage, and now I can, he can, and his ex can too. EVERYONE IS HAPPY! Except... gay people, but I really feel in my heart of hearts that this will change some day. I am meeting with a priest on Monday at this ultra-liberal West Village church (they have a Catholic Lesbians group, which made my heart burst into rainbows), and I really can't wait. I plan on doing a soul dump.

I have been living such a selfish, self-serving life, I haven't done volunteer stuff in a year, and I feel horrible about it. I haven't done much prayer or anything to connect with that part of me either. It's an empty way to live, for me. So I think he'll have suggstions. I would love to connect volunteer work with getting involved in the church again. I would love to ACT like I care about the greater good instead of just SAYING that I do - like the rich Tribeca yuppie that I am terrified to realize I am slowly becoming.

Anyway, so that is on track, and I am talking to two photographers. One is too expensive ($5000), but he has shot in the aquarium so many times, was very responsive, and was recommended by the aquarium itself. He shot the photo I attached to this post. I am worried about the low lighting and the reflective tanks. I want a good, seasoned photographer that isn't expensive... impossible? I hope not. I found a couple that has also shot in the aquarium who will do it for $3,300, which is more than I wanted to spend, but I DO get TWO photographers for the price. I am going to check out their stuff next weekend. Wish me luck.

I also found the woman that I want to do my hair, and I am going to set up a trial soon. My plan is to have this whole wedding planned by fall, and NFL kickoff. I think I can do it, I've had a year of sitting on my thumbs, waiting for the annullment and just looking at things, so I already know what I want. I just have to find the person to get it to me - for the right price.

I am paying $1000 for my wedding dress. I can do it.